


Light and Shadow

by abrosuna



Category: Sengoku Basara
Genre: Angst, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 14:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16621061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrosuna/pseuds/abrosuna
Summary: What happens when a lantern that is the only source of light around is put out?





	Light and Shadow

What happens when a lantern that is the only source of light around is put out? Darkness engulfs everything, and it is no longer possible to see well. Everything is shadow  _—_ but it’s different from that shadow the lantern cast: that one is lost forever, for its light is gone too.

Shinobi are supposed to be shadows that merge with the night and move swiftly in the darkness, they do not have a source of light. They don’t need it. They complete their missions without leaving a trace, they observe and steal and kill with silent movements, avoiding combat, hiding, their mimetic garments allowing them to become one with the surroundings. They are one with the darkness that engulfs everything. They don’t get lost.

When Sanada Yukimura’s light went out, Sasuke wasn’t there. He had a mission: infiltrate Tokugawa’s stronghold, and help bring victory to his general and to the faction they were fighting with. He was doing his job. Obeying his orders. He wasn’t supposed to be at his master’s side, nor to protect him  _—_ he was supposed to do exactly what he was doing. There was no fault in his actions.

But Sasuke’s conduct as a shinobi was far from being irreproachable. A long time before, he had made what many (not him, however) would call a fatal mistake, for he had become the shadow cast by a lantern. It was a matter that went way beyond simple loyalty, it was a personal connection, an unbreakable bond that not only tied the servant to the master, but one soul to the other as well. He had decided to place his whole existence in the hands of one man, and never claim it back. He had his own, personal light now.

It had happened gradually, without him noticing; even if he had wanted to, he couldn’t have done anything to prevent it. At one point master Sanada had become his light, and fascinated by that brightness, attracted by the warmth, he had accepted to be his shadow. He did not choose it, but he welcomed it. Which meant that without his light, he wouldn’t have been allowed to exist anymore. He was aware of that, and as dangerous as it was  _—_ some said forbidden, even _—_ he was willing to take the risk. For his own, personal light.

Something had gone wrong. He’d had to abandon the mission, but his foot had been caught in a trap (how could he have been be so careless?) while he was fleeing the castle. The enemy soldiers he was being chased by were approaching, he had no choice but to be captured or die there. He grabbed one of his blades, ready to do what needed to be done.

In his last moments, his thought went to his master. His beloved master Sanada, so kind, so brave. His beautiful light. Sasuke was sure, master Sanada was strong enough to go on without him.

In a flash, thoughts turned into memories, and Sasuke remembered master Sanada’s crying face. He remembered his warm eyes filled with trembling tears. His voice calling Sasuke’s name. A broken whisper. “I couldn’t stand to lose you...” The deep, sharp pain of seeing him like that.

Countless times they’d talked about the uncertainty of the future. Master Sanada always seemed to forget that despite the bond of affection he claimed to be between them (and it really was there, it could no longer be buried under weak lies) Sasuke was still a subordinate of his, and a shinobi, no less, a tool that he should use to reach his goals. But every time that Sasuke tried to convince his liege that his wouldn’t have been a great loss, Yukimura opposed that with energy and insisted that it would’ve been the greatest of all.

Sasuke wasn’t stubborn, he understood that his words couldn’t change his master’s feelings. Even worse: much to his disgrace, he wasn’t immune to those same feelings. He couldn’t fully understand why his master would feel that way towards someone like him, but he knew what it meant. The thought of being separated from Yukimura brought him unspeakable pain.

With a firm blow, struck by an unwavering hand, he directed his blade towards his ankle. Clenching his jaw to force silence upon himself, he repeated the painful motion until his leg was free; bleeding and unstable, he did the best he could to get away from there, before the enemy arrived. He quickly bandaged his wound not to leave any more traces, and dragging himself from one hiding spot to the other he managed to reach the woods.

The sun was starting to set.

He tried to jump on a tree branch, seeking the shelter offered by the leaves, but with that leg of his he wasn’t much surprised when he didn’t succeed; he was aware he couldn’t hope to go to great lengths as well. Could he even make it back to Osaka? Could he even make it back to his general, who was waiting for his return? Even if the mission had failed, he had to report back to his master. To be back at his side, prepared to receive new orders and fighting for him.

Tokugawa’s men seemed to still be after him, he could hear them searching around. There were no chances for him to beat them in speed  _—_ once they caught up with him, it would’ve been the end. With great suffering, biting his own lips so strong he almost made them bleed, he managed to climb up a tree. The pain and fatigue that tormented him begged for more air, and breathing quietly was distressing, but he couldn’t afford to make a sound.

In a short time, a group of soldiers arrived there. Sasuke could hear what they were saying.

One was spitting insults directed towards him. One insisted that they had to find him quickly, for they did not know what he could have learnt or stolen at the castle. A couple of them pointed out that it was a fruitless search. Osaka had fallen, after all, the opposition to the shogunate was no longer a threat.

For an instant Sasuke lost awareness of his surroundings, only conscious of his heart throbbing inside his chest.

The soldiers kept arguing. They could not be sure who had sent that shinobi, they had to catch him. Letting him go was a risk they were not allowed to take. He was wounded, anyway, he couldn’t be too far.

They kept moving along, searching for traces of blood or footprints on the ground.

Sasuke tried to remain focused on their voices, waiting for the right moment to jump off the tree and take a different direction, but he could hardly concentrate. Fear was taking over him. His limbs were cold and his chest hurt and his mind kept replaying over and over what those soldiers had said, trying to take it in. Osaka had fallen. Osaka had fallen.

Yukimura was in Osaka.

The caution he used in sliding down didn’t spare him from ungraciously falling on the ground. Gritting his teeth, he leaned on the tree for support and stood up on his one leg.

Where was his master? Where was Yukimura? If the castle had been taken, what had happened to him? Was he still resisting somewhere, cornered, with no more than a handful of men? Sasuke needed to find him, he needed to take the general away and keep him safe. He knew his master: fighting until the end, never surrendering to the odds. That very battle, against the winner of a war that had already ended, was proof of his undying determination, his will that burned like raging fire. But this time there was no more hope for victory, it was useless to keep fighting; he had to take Yukimura away.

Where was Yukimura? There wasn’t much time left… The sky kept getting darker and darker with every minute. Sasuke started limping in the direction he believed to be the safest.

Osaka had fallen. The voice of that soldier was so uncaring, almost bored, but in Sasuke’s mind it sounded as grave as death.

Osaka had fallen.

Yukimura, he… Was he…?

It was only a matter of time until Sasuke realised that he was loitering aimlessly, following his instincts but paying little attention to where he was really going. He could’ve travelled much faster, jumping from tree branch to tree branch, if it weren’t from that self-inflicted wound caused by his carelessness. He could’ve been more efficient, if his body hadn’t felt so weak. If his mind hadn’t been so hazy. If there had been a little more light.

What had happened to his light? He couldn’t go on without it, not anymore; the time when he could pretend not to need it was long gone, since he had already chosen his path. That past seemed so far away, now that he needed his light more than ever. The darkness was growing thicker, and he was but a feeble shadow. The shadow of the most magnificent fire, a flame that whirled in the night without ever going out…

Had his fire gone out? Was it possible…? Osaka had fallen…

His vision was starting to fail him, and his mind was losing control over his body. He wasn’t even sure he was moving anymore. He didn’t know what was around him. At one point he felt a hard surface hit his cheek, and he vaguely became aware that he had collapsed on the ground. He tried to get up, but his arms didn’t respond. Or at least so he thought. He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t feel much, and his head was very, very heavy.

It wasn’t so bad to be the shadow cast by such a beautiful light. His very own, personal light. It gave him purpose. It gave him meaning. It gave him… happiness. He would look at the light shining brightly in Yukimura’s eyes and feel as happy as he believed he’d never been. He would feel grateful because, even though he wouldn’t dare to think he deserved it, his beloved master had decided to gift him with the warmth of his kind heart, making him feel like he was more than a lifeless weapon. Making him feel love, and loved in return.

The risk was to get lost in the darkness, had the night come. But it was a risk well worth taking, and Sasuke would’ve never regretted it.

If his light had gone out, then so be it. He was ready to welcome the night.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise if this turns out to be a mess, but in my defence I have to say that it was supposed to hurt, not to make sense. Thanks for reading!


End file.
